I have let my blog go. I have neglected it and I feel bad. It is my journal and my therapy. The place where I can share and remember. The place we go back to during good and bad times. The kids scroll through and remember the funny things we've done, the good memories we've made, and they smile because mom thought enough to write it down.

I used to have journals, one for me, one for each of the kids, and I tucked them away in my drawer. No one read them, not even me. The memories were there, but they felt too personal to share. One day Sadie found a little book with her name on it and tore out all the pages in it. After all it was her book and she hadn't even written the things in it. I cried when I saw all the memories torn out and in the trash. She didn't realize what she had done, because I never shared those journals with her. But this, this she reads, this she knows others read, and I am careful about what I put here. I keep in mind that while in my mind no one reads it, they may, my kids do.

I need to be better, I'm going to try to be better. I think I often feel guilty for the time I spend on the computer, but this is my refuge. And I need to return.