Favorite Moments

I love helpful sisters...
hands reaching up for hugs...
Jack's Big Music Show on Noggin (would I get a shower without it?)... And happy walks.

Birthday Presents

Sadie had a birthday party to go to this weekend for twins that are turning eight. They are quiet girls who like to read, so I decided to make them tote bags for going to the library. They turned out quite cute, but I'm afraid they may be a little too sophisticated for eight-year-olds. Hopefully they like them. I was tempted to keep them for myself.

I Hart Phonics

There was a time when I didn't get phonetic spelling. I mean what's the point, you spell or you misspell. But I am now enlightened. I love receiving little letters full of phonetically spelled words of love. So this is me and Evan (the hart shows that we are lovebirds) flying over a toolip, with the grawnd beneath us and a rainclawd next to us. The rain has created a beautiful rainbow of red, ornge, and yellow. Thank you for such a lovely picture, Sadie.

The Music Man

This is my little music man. If he isn't playing his mini-guitar...
he's playing his electric guitar (I know, why does an almost two-year-old have an electric guitar, because he has a guitar-crazed dad.)
Then when he gets too rough with the guitars we put them away and he has to go hunting for another instrument.
But when all else fails, he can always dance. Even the slightest hint of a beat and Jack will start dancing.

Fresh Fruit Tart

This is what Evan calls "The Best Birthday Cake Ever". I made this for a little get together we had for him on Sunday. I've learned that I have to make two because it disappears so fast. It really isn't difficult.

Fresh Fruit Tart

Crust: 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened and sliced

Filling: 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Topping: Fresh strawberries, kiwi slices, blueberries, raspberries, nectarines, or other fresh fruit.

Glaze: 1 (6-ounce) can frozen limeade concentrate, thawed 1 tablespoon cornstarch 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice 1/4 cup granulated sugar

Whipped cream, for garnish (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

For the crust: In a food processor, combine the confectioners' sugar, flour, and butter, and process until the mixture forms a ball. With your fingers, press the dough into a 12-inch tart pan with a removable bottom, taking care to push the crust into the indentations in the sides. Pat until the crust is even. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, until very lightly browned. Set aside to cool.

For the filling and topping: Beat the cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla together until smooth. Spread over the cooled crust. Cut the fruit into 1/8-inch slices and arrange in concentric circles around tart. Cluster raspberries or blueberries in the center of the tart.

For the glaze: Combine the limeade, cornstarch, lime juice, and sugar in a small saucepan and cook over medium heat until clear and thick, about 2 minutes. Let cool. With a pastry brush, glaze the entire tart. You will not use all of the glaze. Keep the tart in the refrigerator. Remove about 15 minutes before serving. Top with whipped cream if desired.

Take my picture, Mom

After church last Sunday, before they would change their clothes I had to take pictures. "Take my picture, Mom."

The girls want to pick out their own clothes, but inevitably whatever they picked out the night before they no longer want to wear. Its a struggle to get to church without frustration.

They have their own style and I cramp it. I find myself saying things like, "I don't buy you beautiful clothes so they can hang in your closet." or worse "Get it on now!" Lovely way to start your Sunday I know.

They are such good girls, and I love them so much, but it seems to me they are growing up too fast. Sadie will be eight in October and I just can't believe it. I remember when I would hold her with her little head resting under my chin and her knees curled in the crook of my elbow. (By the way the pattern for Sadie's dress can be found here.)

I don't know why I am struggling so with change. I usually adapt better than this. So, I wanted to ask you (since you are my closest friends) why is it so hard to let go? Change is a good thing.

Then on a lighter note, having said all this, do I surprise Sadie with a baptism dress? Or do I let her have a say in the design? Seems silly I know, but I want it to be special and I want her to wear it.


And just cause I love them, here are some pictures of Maisy and Jack.

Way Too Tired

Lately, no matter how tired Jack seems when I put him to bed, he ends up asleep right in front of the door. When I go in to check on him, I have to reach through and push him aside so that I can open the door. Then I take him back to his bed for the night.

I love this ritual we have created. I love relishing my last child. I love seeing that little bum sticking up in the air. I love holding him in my arms as I quietly carry him back to his bed. I love standing there just a little longer and drinking it all in; the warmth of his body, the rise and fall of his breath, the smell of his skin. No matter how tired I am, I just want that moment to last a little longer. Can't it last a little longer.

Evan

Here I am a day late. A whole day late telling you that Evan turned 36. We've been married for almost ten years and I still have to stop and think when someone asks his birth date. I can rattle off my kids almost without thought and yet the man by my side always seems to get shortchanged in the birthday department.
Evan is such a good dad. His kids believe the sun rises and sets by daddy. When he comes home from work you can hear kids running to the door. Evan makes beautiful furniture and just recently has started to make guitars. He's even been approached about selling one of his handmade guitars.
He is great at his job and takes pride in his work. One time when he came to visit Maisy and me in St. Louis while she was in the hospital. A man approached us as we were walking through the PICU and said that his wife loved Evan. I was taken aback and wondering what my husband was up to doing while I was five hours away. He looked at me shrugged innocently. Turns out he did her epidural.
He loves being outdoors and I sometimes feel bad that I'm a city girl at heart. But I try. He plays the guitar beautifully and he loves performing (something that terrifies me.)
He is also very funny. On our first date, a couple we were with pulled up along side us at a stop light and revved their engines. Evan quipped that he was going to put the car in high speed and turned off the AC. I decided right then that he was worth a second date. A couple days ago Sadie's friend came up to me and whispered, "Your husband's funny." I just whispered back, "He is, huh." Happy Birthday Hun! I love you.

May Project

Today I did bubble painting with Ella's class. They were so funny. We started out reading this book. It's a cute little book about a king and a dragon who clash on the idea of what a dragon should breathe. But Cinder can't seem to blow anything but bubbles, so the king interviews for another dragon and well, lets just say Cinder saves the day.

Then we talked about the variety of end pages in books. (We are making a book next month, so this artwork will be their end pages.) I showed them some of my favorites. Then came the fun.

You start with a couple drops of dish soap in a container, along with a couple of tablespoons of paint and some water. Stir it up, put in a straw and blow bubbles.
With young kids you will end up with a lot of this. So have paper towels on hand.
Then use your paper to pop the bubbles. We had the best results when we used multiple colors per page. They got a beautiful mix of colors in kind of a marblized effect.
I heard a lot of, "This is so cool," and "Whoa." But I have to say this is my favorite part of the day.

Chocolate Mousse Tart

I made this for my mom for Mother's Day. It is one of my favorite desserts to make because it looks so pretty. I also love that its an eggless chocolate mousse, so you can eat it when your pregnant. (Not that I plan on doing that again. Much as I love the four that I have.) I make it in a removable bottom tart pan, but you could also use a springform. Hope you try it.

CHOCOLATE MOUSSE TART

Crust:21 chocolate sandwich cookies (such as Oreos)
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, cut into pieces, room temperature
Mousse:
12 ounces semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
3 3/4 cups chilled whipping cream (it will be divided)
¼ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup confectioner’s sugar
Pinch of salt
Chocolate shavings

Crust: Preheat oven to 350°F. Finely grind cookies in a food processor. Add butter and process until mixture is evenly moistened. Press crumb mixture onto bottom of 12-inch-diameter tart pan to form thin crust. Bake crust 5 minutes. Transfer crust to rack and cool completely.
Mousse: Combine chocolate, vanilla, and salt in a food processor. Bring 1 cup cream to boil in a heavy small saucepan. With processor running, gradually pour hot cream through feed tube and process until chocolate is melted and smooth. Transfer mixture to large bowl. Cool to room temperature, stirring occasionally. Beat 2 cups cream and sugar in large bowl to stiff peaks. Fold into chocolate mixture. Pour mousse into prepared crust. Chill until set, about 6 hours. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead.) Beat remaining 3/4 cup cream and confectioner’s sugar in medium bowl to firm peaks. Top cake with sweetened cream; garnish with chocolate shavings. Serves 10 or more.

From Paris to New York

Well, we just got back from Las Vegas. Sadie was amazed, and somewhat confused, that we could see the Eiffel Tower and then a block later see the Statue of Liberty. Where else can you expose your young children to all the horrors of humanity in one night. We really had a lot of fun, but it is hard to divert little eyes.

We stayed at a resort off the strip and spent most of our time at the pool. But the girls really loved visiting Las Vegas Blvd. And it is pretty spectacular. We went to M&M World, the Fountains at Bellagio (my favorite), the Sirens of TI (somewhat questionable), and had a little taste of Venice, Rome, Paris, and New York all in one city. Sadie wanted to pick up all the litter and I told her not to even look at it. But there is an energy and fun about outside the casinos. Whatever it takes to lure you inside, the bigger, the brighter, the better.


We went to Red Rocks one day, but we didn't do much hiking because Jack was too adventurous around the cliffs. He makes me so nervous.

Mostly, we just had fun in the pool. They had two pools, one for families and one for eighteen and older. I didn't feel bad about splashing or yelling. I did wonder about the German tourist in the speedo though (what single man hangs out at a four-foot deep pool.) We came home with nice tans in spite of my tireless sunscreen applications. Overall, a fun time.

...Such a Nice Surprise

Yesterday in the car Jack began exclamations of whoa. I looked to see what was drawing his attention away from the movie and saw beautiful pink blossoms on the trees lining the street. So today I took the kids for a walk in the wagon and admired what Spring has brought us. Back in the fall I did this art project with Ella's class and I thought I would revisit it with the girls using spring colored fabric squares. For our fall trees I cut scraps of flannel, tweed, wool and corduroy into small 1/2" x 1/2" squares. Then I gave each child a piece of paper with two faint lines showing the base of the trunk (some of the kindergartners need a starting point.) We glued the fabric squares overlapping here and there for texture and then branching out up top. The leaves were just mini ones I found at the craft store. We had the most beautiful bulletin board of warm and cozy trees. They turned out great.

I think I will sit down with Sadie and Ella and make some apple blossom trees. It will be a nice way to use the scraps from their spring dresses. Just as I love flannel and corduroy in the fall, there is just something about spring that makes me crave eyelet, seersucker, and gingham. Maybe its the smell of the cherry blossoms.

Doggy says "Roarr"

Washington D.C.

We went to the zoo yesterday and wouldn't you know it, I forgot the camera. Jack was hilarious. He called all the primates buddy. He was good pals with the monkeys and lemurs. He called out, "buddy," as he walked to the gorilla but then started to cry as he got closer and realized just how big she was. The cats were all declared to be "doggy." We got to see a lynx eating a rather large piece of meat for such a small wildcat. He was also called doggy, but at least he got the sound right as he squatted down and growled at her. Since it was cooler, the animals more active than usual. Also, a benefit of the zoo in spring, there were a few baby animals, which is always fun to see.

Maisy was quite grumpy. I'm not sure what was bothering her, but she wanted to let us know, so we had to move through the exhibits rather quickly. She did sign 'cat' when I showed her how, I'm not sure of the sign for lynx. After that she was rather fond of calling all the animals 'cat'.

Sadie brought a book on wildcats and even though I encouraged her not to, I was glad she did. She looked up every wildcat and read to us about its behavior and habitat. Next time we go I have to remember to bring a sketchpad for Ella. You could almost see her little fingers itching to draw everything she saw.

What a nice day. We were glad to have Evan home for a few days. We always miss him. The only benefit of twenty-four hour days is the time off in between. Have a great weekend and Happy Mother's Day. (p.s. the pictures are from our past visits to various zoos, but I couldn't resist sharing all the memories.)

Springfield, MO
St. Louis
St. Louis
Salt Lake City
Salt Lake City

A little MIRACLE

I'm going to warn you that this is a long story but I don't know how to tell it any other way. So I will share it with you and I may cry as I type because I shared it with some ladies at church today and cried the whole time. I think that as a mom, we are always aware in our hearts of our children's potential. But often we lose sight of those feelings. So this is my little reminder of potential.

A few months into the ordeal of Maisy's hospitalization, multiple surgeries, seizures, collapsed lungs, pulmonary embolism, etc., a neurologist came into her room. In the haze of memories I have from that experience, I remember my heart pounding, my mind swimming, and telling him that neurology was not an exact science. That for every study he could use to prove his point I could find another to refute. That children compensate and that the brain was marvelous beyond our understanding. I decided at that point I would take things as they came. In my heart, in my dreams, in my mind I could see my daughter playing, talking, laughing, happy. She was just a baby with so much ahead of her. When she looked into my eyes there were things no MRI or neurologist could ever see. I even had a dream one night that she was sitting at a piano on a stage playing for a large audience.

But sometimes in the day to day I lose sight of those strong feelings. Communication is a big issue, I sign to her she signs a little back. But neither one of us is getting our message across. Sometimes my three-year-old is throwing and kicking and crying out of frustration, and I too want to do all three because I am just as frustrated. Because Maisy doesn't eat she uses her tongue like a hand and just as you or I would touch something to sense it, Maisy might lick that same thing for the very same reason. Those are the times I forget what my heart feels or I wonder if some of those feelings stem from wishful thinking.

Maisy loves books, but she is kind of hard on them. She loves to sit with Mom or Dad and hear stories and look at pictures. This past week on Wednesday, while Maisy was at school I went to the library. I was in a hurry and grabbed a few books the kids had been requesting and a few of our favorites then on a whim I grabbed an unread book by a trusted author. That night I sat with Maisy, my little book lover, and read Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems. She smiled and giggled throughout the story and after I was done she hugged the book to her chest. That night I let her sleep with it and for the next three days I heard her crawl as a shuffle one foot, shuffle the next foot, slide the book. I think I read Knuffle Bunny a dozen times in two days.

Then on Friday she tore the book and I took it away. She cried, I felt bad. That night as I told Evan the story, Maisy cried at the mere mention of Knuffle Bunny. So I read it to her again, but this time as I watched her I realized that my beautiful little girl was relating to this book. That she was understanding what it was like for Trixie to not be able to tell her dad what she needed. That she was so proud of Trixie for those wonderful first words brought on by a much loved friend. I also realized that every time I had read the book to Maisy she had been trying to form words.

I know in my heart that Maisy is capable of more than she is given credit for. One therapist told me that she believed Maisy would eventually catch up to her peers. I don't know what her future will hold. I have fears of teasing and broken hearts, sitting and crying with my daughter. I know that she is wonderful beyond what a sideways glance will tell. I know that whatever her future holds it will defy CT scans and doctors notes. This week it was not only nice to see a small glimpse of that potential,but for this mom, its my own little miracle.

SNOW!?

What a difference a day makes. On Tuesday we enjoyed temperatures in the 70's, we hung out outside with Grandma Gayla and Aunt Haley, the kids were in shorts. Then last night it snowed. Just before I went to bed, I peeked outside to see snow. So our trip to the zoo is on hold.
I think the kids are kind of looking forward to a day at home though. Maisy doesn't have school today either, so maybe we will have some quiet time.
So this mom is quite tired of winter and longing for spring. So until the spring comes to stay I wil hold onto this.
And this.