Connected

The other day I put my two youngest on a little fifty cent merry-go-round with three horses, when I saw a little boy watching nearby. I asked him if he wanted to climb on too, as there were three horses and two kids. He grinned all through the ride and I was surprised by how simple it was to make him happy. His little smile made me happy.

Lately, I have been needing to feel a bit more Zen, I have wanted to embrace the simplicity, humility and kindness of the Taoist. Some days I want "a life of humility; a life of labor; a life of service; a life of prayer and gratitude; and a life of meditation."

There is a series of children's picture books that I like to read about a panda named Stillwater. The author's note states, "It is easy to believe we are each waves and forget we are also the ocean." I love the concept that we are all interconnected, we are here not just for and of ourselves, but for the sake of each other as well.

In the book Stillwater has the neighbor children help him care for a mean lady in their neighborhood, who in turn helps the children. The story revolves around the idea that what we do for others comes back to us, even though we may not know we are in need. It makes me think of charity, in its true form.

Have fervent charity among yourselves. … Use hospitality one to another without grudging. As every [woman] hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 1 Peter 4:8-10

The need for each other has been a recurring theme around us lately. I have been daily reminded, often in small ways, that we can't always help ourselves. Sometimes, we need someone else to walk with us for a while, someone else to show us the way. Maybe it is the old philosophy of "it takes a village," but I think that life (being a mom) is often more difficult than we expected. It is a gift that is taking too long to unwrap. And yet, "the errand of angels is given to women." (Margaret D. Nadauld) Am I spending so much time looking at what has to be done that I can't see what others need of me? Am I finding the opportunities to be someone's angel?

“All that can be said is that everything in our life happens as though we entered upon it with a load of obligations contracted in a previous existence. There is no reason arising from the conditions of our life on this earth for us to consider ourselves obliged to do good, to be tactful, even to be polite. … All these obligations whose sanction is not of this present life, seem to belong to a different world, founded on kindness, scruples, sacrifices, a world entirely different from this one, a world whence we emerge to be born on this earth, before returning thither, perhaps to live under the empire of those unknown laws we have obeyed because we bore their teaching within us without knowing who had taught us.” (Marcel Proust, La Prisonniere, as quoted in Homo Viator by Gabriel Marcel.)

Understand, that I love my children. I look at their little faces and smile or cry (depending on the day) at the sheer love I feel for them. However, that doesn't change the fact that when one child uses her bedroom floor as a toilet or another runs to her room shouting the opposite of "I love you" because I won't let her play with her friend, the day feels wrong. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I know that my friend who is watching her child struggle is in need. Or the sad shopper who didn't look up from her cart, or the lady who's car wouldn't start. Whatever we go through in life, whether physical or emotional, sometimes we need a helping hand. Much as the light on the hill that Matthew described, we need to be here for each other, a beacon to light the way. I hope I'm there when I'm needed, I hope I can see the need.